Budget-friendly Shopper T-Shirts

Organic or Toxic - It depends what you can afford.

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

Sale.

'What can you get with a quarter?'

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

Crisis Buzz.

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four dollar range?"

'He left me McDonald's coupon's for a tip.'

The Bargain Brand

Everything for a buck.

Garage Music

How much would you take off for cash?

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

'Ridiculously Expensive Coffee.'

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

'I wish you'd buy another hat!'

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

'A 1982 bottle of KMart Beaujolais Nouveau? You shouldn't have, really. I mean you really, really shouldn't have...really.'

Yard Sale: Like-New Kitchen Gadgets

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

"Tia Carmen! We're at Plaza Mall...not Flaco's Flea Market!"

Affordable housing

Garage sale.

Buying roses - 'You got any with no stem?'

Low income vampires.

"To compensate for the immediate depreciation of your new car, you get a year's supply of new car smell aerosol spray."

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

'Jim gets a powerful charge from electric cars but always gets burned by the sticker shock.'

"THREE quid for a romantic verse? Don't you have any snappy one liners for 50p.?"