Budget-conscious Shopper Gifts

Price war - school uniforms.

Woman looking at "Get Well" cards which have been divided into two sections: "Insured" and "Uninsured".

"These are hard times for retailers, so we should show them our support in every way we can."

Become a California Teacher

Eighteen Dollar MILK

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

One upside-down tomato planter. I can't wait for juicy, free tomatoes. It's $23.37 with tax. Not bad for homegrown tomahtas. Plus $8 for potting soil, $15 for the hanger, $11 for organic fertilizer, $16 � Hey! � Where are you going? To the "Pick and Save" market.

'I'm on a fixed income, so these free offers are most welcome.'

I'd like a refund please. Christmas cost me an arm and a leg this year!

Low income vampires.

£17 for a haircut? No, £2 for a haircut and £15 for search fees.

Fresh skinless and boneless chicken

"Dr. Garcia says I might need a hearing aid, but they cost $2,000."

When Tia Carmen says... "I bought Christmas gifts for all your cousins!" it means...she did her shopping at the dollar store.

Affordable housing

"Your meat is too expensive. Aren't you passing your 'free range' savings onto the customer?"

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

Sale.

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four dollar range?"

Crisis Buzz.

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

'He left me McDonald's coupon's for a tip.'

Garage Music

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

'Ridiculously Expensive Coffee.'

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

Doctor's profits match a patient's scar.

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

Sam's Nation Building

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.