Budget Shopping Gifts

Discount surgery: 'True, we do use a set of steak knives, but they're clean and very, very sharp.'

'He left me McDonald's coupon's for a tip.'

I'm off to bag some bargains in the January sales... -

"And WHO let those $10 in ExtraBucks die?"

'It's a remarkably accessible wine - £2.99 a bottle from Lidl.'

'Happy anniversary.'

'After his cheap goggles fogged up, max went missing.'

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four dollar range?"

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

That's supposed to say garage sale!

Sale.

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

'What can you get with a quarter?'

Sales - "For the last time, stop saving us money." (Colour)

Crisis Buzz.

Crap others threw out

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

Everything for a buck.

The Bargain Brand

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

How much would you take off for cash?

'Ridiculously Expensive Coffee.'

'If you promise to never try to open the locked attic door, the owner will take $20,00 off!'

Fine artist has methodically lowered the price of his art.

"I've changed my mind about your BOGOF offer."

End of the day bargains at the cheese counter.

"Yes we have dollar drafts, no you can't use your own glass."

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

Buying roses - 'You got any with no stem?'