Cost-effective Shopping Gifts

'A 1982 bottle of KMart Beaujolais Nouveau? You shouldn't have, really. I mean you really, really shouldn't have...really.'

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

That's supposed to say garage sale!

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

Sale.

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

Gym. Check in Here. The only time I feel the burn is when I pay the memberbship fee.

'What can you get with a quarter?'

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

Crisis Buzz.

Crap others threw out

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four dollar range?"

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

Sales - "For the last time, stop saving us money." (Colour)

"Do you know that we saved a ton of money on legal fees by being more ethical?"

'He left me McDonald's coupon's for a tip.'

The Bargain Brand

Everything for a buck.

"As company chairman I'd like to thank you all for participating in the evenings entertainment and saving me �4000."

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

How much would you take off for cash?

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

'Ridiculously Expensive Coffee.'

End of the day bargains at the cheese counter.

"Yes we have dollar drafts, no you can't use your own glass."

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

"I've changed my mind about your BOGOF offer."

Fine artist has methodically lowered the price of his art.

Doctor's profits match a patient's scar.

'If you promise to never try to open the locked attic door, the owner will take $20,00 off!'

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."