Economized Shopper Gifts

'All the shops I used to compare prices with have closed down!'

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

Sale.

'What can you get with a quarter?'

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

Crisis Buzz.

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four dollar range?"

'He left me McDonald's coupon's for a tip.'

Everything for a buck.

The Bargain Brand

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

How much would you take off for cash?

'Ridiculously Expensive Coffee.'

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

'A 1982 bottle of KMart Beaujolais Nouveau? You shouldn't have, really. I mean you really, really shouldn't have...really.'

Buying roses - 'You got any with no stem?'

Garage sale.

Affordable housing

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

Low income vampires.

Yard Sale: Like-New Kitchen Gadgets

"Tia Carmen! We're at Plaza Mall...not Flaco's Flea Market!"

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

"To compensate for the immediate depreciation of your new car, you get a year's supply of new car smell aerosol spray."

'Jim gets a powerful charge from electric cars but always gets burned by the sticker shock.'

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

'This could be a swell time to buy our selves out!'

"Our goal is to make prices so low that even our employees could shop here."

Dad she's fallen into the cereal again!