Discount Shopping Gifts

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

"Oh no! It's Dis-Count Dracula!!"

'Do we qualify for a group rate?'

'...No, but I'll give you a discount.'

"I know they're dead. That's why they're cheap."

Beware of cheap piercings from the DIY superstore!

Sales - "For the last time, stop saving us money." (Colour)

Rip van Winkle's snooze alarm was set for 20 year intervals. He bought the clock at a discount store selling majorly damaged goods.

'I'm sorry, sir, we don't give senior discounts.'

'It was an impulse buy Mary. At 75 percent off in the New Year sale AND free home delivery. . .'

Another Pound Shop: Your Favourite Brands...Half Price...Because we like to pretend we haven't made them all half the size...Your New Trolley Design.

Sale

"Let's push the boat out and go next door."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Killer Executive Suits.

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Handbag store - "Perfect."

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'