Bargain Shopper Gifts

The Price of The Stuff/How Much Stuff Is in The Store

Garage sale.

'Take me to your loss-leader.'

'I don't get it.. all our groceries are fat free, reduced and light, yet our food bill is fatter than ever.'

'Yes, I realize it's April. Why do you think I'm offering the 10% discount?'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Beach con-man.

Cut Price

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

SALE

Will work for ETFs

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

"Which of these will look the prettiest without the others?"

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

(Visual gag) Wellard's annual BIG HANDBAG SALE!! A woman is dragging a huge bag out from a bag shop

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"