Bargain Hunters Gifts

"Anything to declare, aside from personal bankruptcy?"

"They're willing to throw in their kidneys."

Pound shop - 99p Land - 98p World.

'Of course it's a real diamond. You think I'd spend eighty bucks for a fake?'

Black Friday

'Reg, have you recovered that windlass yet?'

'Excuse me!..D'you work here?'

Recruitment Centre.

'Finally a mega-store with an honest name.'

'He's tagging exercicse equipment to study its migratory patterns as it travels from lawn sale to lawn sale.'

Shopping Trolley

'To gain back market share, Walgreen's will now offer a $5 all-you-can-swallow analgesic buffet on Tuesday nights.'

"I can't quite picture who would enjoy a gift in that price range."

Congratulations, Coupon Lady. You saved $15 and earned the wrath of everyone stuck behind you.

Please buy something!

'That'll be four thousand and eighty pounds please'

That's what I call value.

"'Thou shalt give good discounts'? That's a commandment?"

'Water into wine is certainly impressive. D'you do water into petrol?'

"I'm in a purchasing mood, but I don't know if I feel like goods or services."

Woman sees supermarket's offer: 'Buy one get one for the same price'.

'No, the vegetables.'

'Times are a bit tough for the Tooth Fairy, so please accept these valuable discount coupons in lieu of cash.'

"And to think I just went shopping to buy a box of hairpins!"

'We also sell water for $200 a glass.'

Unfinished furniture.

Regular $3, with commercials $2

The cushions are very soft !

'Enjoy the sound of running water in your own home...'

Some make better deals than others.

'For a little less money, we can offer you a manual inflating air bag.'

'There... if we'd paid out for sun loungers on holiday we'd never have been able to afford this authentic goatskin bedspread.'

'I don't understand it - I thought we had a more upmarket demographic!'

'Thet're alright if you don't mind Caharlie Chaplin inflight movies.'

'It's for stripping paint... cheaper than meths.'