Bargain Hunters Pillows

"Anything to declare, aside from personal bankruptcy?"

"They're willing to throw in their kidneys."

Pound shop - 99p Land - 98p World.

'Of course it's a real diamond. You think I'd spend eighty bucks for a fake?'

Black Friday

'Reg, have you recovered that windlass yet?'

'Finally a mega-store with an honest name.'

'Excuse me!..D'you work here?'

Recruitment Centre.

"I can't quite picture who would enjoy a gift in that price range."

Shopping Trolley

'He's tagging exercicse equipment to study its migratory patterns as it travels from lawn sale to lawn sale.'

"'Thou shalt give good discounts'? That's a commandment?"

"I'm in a purchasing mood, but I don't know if I feel like goods or services."

Regular $3, with commercials $2

'Enjoy the sound of running water in your own home...'

Unfinished furniture.

"And to think I just went shopping to buy a box of hairpins!"

'Water into wine is certainly impressive. D'you do water into petrol?'

'That'll be four thousand and eighty pounds please'

Please buy something!

Woman sees supermarket's offer: 'Buy one get one for the same price'.

'Times are a bit tough for the Tooth Fairy, so please accept these valuable discount coupons in lieu of cash.'

'We also sell water for $200 a glass.'

The cushions are very soft !

Congratulations, Coupon Lady. You saved $15 and earned the wrath of everyone stuck behind you.

Some make better deals than others.

'No, the vegetables.'

Buyer's Remorse

New From The People Who Brought You I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-A-Petroleum-By-Product Sandwich Spread

"What's the matter, Jack, can't you read?"

"No! Not señor discount. SENIOR discount!!"

"And these are diamonté—a girl's closest acquaintance."

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"

"I used to play with Jack Nicklaus you know!"