Bargain Seekers Gifts

Discount surgery: 'True, we do use a set of steak knives, but they're clean and very, very sharp.'

Real estate.

"We raised the price but lowered the down payment... so it kind of evens out."

Apples 50c/Apples 50c Originally $5 each

Sofa Sale: 'I like this sofa - I'll take it.'

"Dear customers, we are pleased to announce that in five minutes, everything in store will be drastically reduced."

'That watch you sold me for £10 only lasted two days.'

"I hadn't realised things were quite that bad..."

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

Beach con-man.

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Cut Price

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

SALE

Will work for ETFs

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

(Visual gag) Wellard's annual BIG HANDBAG SALE!! A woman is dragging a huge bag out from a bag shop

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

"Which of these will look the prettiest without the others?"

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.