Bargain Enthusiast Gifts

"Oh, you misunderstood. The cars aren't half priced...the balloons are!"

"Still no customers. We'll have to invent rebates!"

Sidewalk sign holder holding sign that says 'Save 100%! (don't buy it).

'Wait...I have a coupon.'

"Remember, new customers get the slightly discounted Triple Bundle. Current customers who complain about their bill get the slightly discounted Pacifier Package."

"We're overstocked."

"I'm a bargain hunter."

"Typical, you can't resist anything with 10% off."

Happy Consumers.

Shoe shop sign: 'Buy one, get one free.'

"Sorry about the pole, but I heard you were having a two for one dent repair special and I thought I would just get the most of my money while I was here."

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

"There is such a thing as a free lunch-it just tastes bad."

'Sir, wait! You can't go yet! The register hasn't finished spitting out all your valuable coupons.'

'Next time, let them dry out the stuff on their OWN premises!'

Garage Sales Anonymous

'We sold every single thing in the store...of course, our sales were not as good as we had hoped.'

'It appears the Earthing's main hunting species is something called the early bird special.'

'I qualify for the senior citizen's discount, girlie, but how about you just give me the money instead?'

"How can you possibly give these sorts of discounts?"

"Such bargains on this side!"

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

"Buy one, get one free."

"Today's circular has numerous errors! Car batteries are not $2, tires are not 99 cents and air filters are not free!"

"Business was good this week! Let's go on a shopping spree!"

"That's the last time I go to a sale and yell: 'Wow! 95% off!'"

"He says if we do his survey now, he'll give us a fridge magnet."

"Relax! It's NOT a heart attack! The owner's manual says to expect intense panic during the unpacking stage, as you wonder how in the world you're going to pay for yet another totally impulsive purchase. It should pass in a day or so!"

"Do you take anything off for cash?"

"Since I tried this on in the dressing room, I consider it used. Can I have a discount?"

sale

Panic Buying Special

"Hello darling. I've been shopping ALL day and my fingers are aching..!!"

When bargain hunters crack.

"You already used that coupon last week...I remember handing you the drink, you showing me the coupon...and then when I tried to take it from you, you pushed aside a table, a boy scout and a nun as you fled."