Budget Enthusiasts Gifts

'You pay taxes so I can go to school? Hey, that's where you can save money.'

"You've always stuck to the prix fixe in life."

Enjoying the recession.

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

A Quiet Rebuke.

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

Online Shopping.

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

DIY marriage counseling.

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

The spend is high

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

'Of course, that bid's just an estimate.'

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

"There is such a thing as a free lunch-it just tastes bad."

Bargains

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

"But if we didn't measure things we wouldn't know how good we were at measuring the things that we're measuring!"

'You realize, of course, there's nothing wrong with me. . . I'm only here 'cause of your 50%-off-first-visit coupon and I am not a serial bargain shopaholic.'

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

I brake for all 50 off Sales.

sale

Final clearance sale.

"If only there was a thesaurus for numbers."

Looking for a way to have their cake and eat it too.

Tony Blair - EU budget.

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

Garage Sales Anonymous