Budget Aficionado Gifts

"It was all we could afford in the end."

Coalition cuts: 'Hmm! Where to START?'

"Have you noticed? They're making everything smaller at the grocery store...but they're keeping prices the same!"

"If only there was a thesaurus for numbers."

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

'What's the smallest budget you can manage on?' 'The most you can give me!'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

Online Shopping.

DIY marriage counseling.

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

The ways and means committee reaches the tipping point.

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

The spend is high

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

'In a cost-saving move, I've replaced your cubicle with a back pack.'

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

'My pay envelope is empty.' - 'Your deductions equal your salary'

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

We don't have a budget to redo the last guy's business cards, door placard, and so on, so would you mind assuming his identity in the meantime?

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

US Deficit

'I like the jib of their cuts.'

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

'I want to return this wallet. I can't seem to keep any money in it.'

"Strategic plan B: We chop down all the office plants and grow vegetables."

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"