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"It was all we could afford in the end."

Coalition cuts: 'Hmm! Where to START?'

"Have you noticed? They're making everything smaller at the grocery store...but they're keeping prices the same!"

"If only there was a thesaurus for numbers."

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

'What's the smallest budget you can manage on?' 'The most you can give me!'

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

DIY marriage counseling.

Online Shopping.

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

The ways and means committee reaches the tipping point.

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

The spend is high

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

'In a cost-saving move, I've replaced your cubicle with a back pack.'

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

We don't have a budget to redo the last guy's business cards, door placard, and so on, so would you mind assuming his identity in the meantime?

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

US Deficit

'I want to return this wallet. I can't seem to keep any money in it.'

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

'I like the jib of their cuts.'

'My pay envelope is empty.' - 'Your deductions equal your salary'

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

"Strategic plan B: We chop down all the office plants and grow vegetables."

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"