Frugal Aficionado Gifts

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

'If there's no discretion, then it's not discretionary spending.'

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

"It's made from all our old leftovers. I call it 'Rescue Casserole.'"

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

'He left me McDonald's coupon's for a tip.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

"That's too big a pill for me to swallow, Harold!"

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

Pandora's box.

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

'Gentlemen, it's time we tightened our belts.'

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

"So you want to hide it from other squirrels by presented to deposit it in savings, then taking it back and putting it in a secret account?"

How to save on your heating bill...

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

How to do without

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

'Generally, cost-cutting is a good thing. Specifically, too much of a good thing.'

Today, it's chic to be cheap.

'Remember, Henderson - A penny saved is a departmental oversight.'