Frugal Fan Gifts

"He can be pretty mean when he takes his wife out to dinner"

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

'I worked hard, made my millions. There's nothin left to do except give it away - but I'm too cheap!'

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

High electricity prices

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

Two scottish gentleman debating over having Welsh rabbit

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

'He left me McDonald's coupon's for a tip.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

Pandora's box.

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

"That's too big a pill for me to swallow, Harold!"

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

'Gentlemen, it's time we tightened our belts.'

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

How to do without

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

'Generally, cost-cutting is a good thing. Specifically, too much of a good thing.'

"It's cheaper to buy soap in chunks instead of bars. Just chip off what you need."

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'