Frugal Living Fan Gifts

'The children have adjusted surprisingly well now we can't afford to run a car.'

'Admit it - you bought it for an excuse to save on heating!'

'Why can't you guys be more like the hot water heater, who may pay for itself in two years.'

'it's okay. The package says 'facial quality'.'

'What do you do with the time you save?'

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

"It's made from all our old leftovers. I call it 'Rescue Casserole.'"

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

'He left me McDonald's coupon's for a tip.'

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

"That's too big a pill for me to swallow, Harold!"

'Gentlemen, it's time we tightened our belts.'

"C'mere, space heater."

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

How to do without

How to save on your heating bill...

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

Today, it's chic to be cheap.

"It's cheaper to buy soap in chunks instead of bars. Just chip off what you need."

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'