Frugal Living Fanatic Gifts

"Hello Bob, I haven't seen you since you had a water meter fitted!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

"It's made from all our old leftovers. I call it 'Rescue Casserole.'"

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

Pandora's box.

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"C'mere, space heater."

'I could only afford a Yo.'

How to do without

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

How to save on your heating bill...

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

'Generally, cost-cutting is a good thing. Specifically, too much of a good thing.'

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

"It's cheaper to buy soap in chunks instead of bars. Just chip off what you need."

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

'We've all had to cut costs a smidge.'

"I wanted to give Christmas bonuses but that would violate the separation of church and business."

'Right now I'd say our biggest asset is our credit card debt.'

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."