Frugal Living Fanatic Pillows

"Hello Bob, I haven't seen you since you had a water meter fitted!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

"It's made from all our old leftovers. I call it 'Rescue Casserole.'"

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

Pandora's box.

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

'Gentlemen, it's time we tightened our belts.'

'I could only afford a Yo.'

"C'mere, space heater."

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

How to save on your heating bill...

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

How to do without

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

'Generally, cost-cutting is a good thing. Specifically, too much of a good thing.'

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

"I wanted to give Christmas bonuses but that would violate the separation of church and business."

"It's cheaper to buy soap in chunks instead of bars. Just chip off what you need."

'We've all had to cut costs a smidge.'

'Right now I'd say our biggest asset is our credit card debt.'

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."