Frugal Living Fans Pillows

Seminar Today: Living an Active Retirement Lifestyle. I can't afford to retire. For the last forty years I've been blowing all my money on food, clothing and shelter.

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

"It's made from all our old leftovers. I call it 'Rescue Casserole.'"

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

"That's too big a pill for me to swallow, Harold!"

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

Pandora's box.

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

'Gentlemen, it's time we tightened our belts.'

"C'mere, space heater."

How to do without

How to save on your heating bill...

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

'Generally, cost-cutting is a good thing. Specifically, too much of a good thing.'

Today, it's chic to be cheap.

"I wanted to give Christmas bonuses but that would violate the separation of church and business."

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

'Remember, Henderson - A penny saved is a departmental oversight.'

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."