Frugal Living Enthusiasts Pillows

How to save on your heating bill...

'What do you do with the time you save?'

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

"It's made from all our old leftovers. I call it 'Rescue Casserole.'"

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

'He left me McDonald's coupon's for a tip.'

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

'Gentlemen, it's time we tightened our belts.'

"C'mere, space heater."

'I could only afford a Yo.'

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

How to do without

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

'Stan, you can still pick up that food! Due to the economy, the five second rule had been modified to eight seconds.'

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

"I wanted to give Christmas bonuses but that would violate the separation of church and business."

"It's cheaper to buy soap in chunks instead of bars. Just chip off what you need."

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

'We've all had to cut costs a smidge.'

'Remember, Henderson - A penny saved is a departmental oversight.'

'Right now I'd say our biggest asset is our credit card debt.'

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."