Frugal Fanatics Gifts

'Do you need anything at the Bulk Club? We're going there to buy toilet paper.'

This cafe's frugal owner has hired a monkey to do tech support. Meaning what? When customers have computer questions, they ask the monkey. Monkeys can't fix computers. The least of the problems. Tech support ate my shoe. Can I sell you a scone to walk on?

Enjoying the recession.

'According to this bank statement, you can stop worrying. We're out of money to run out of.'

"It's cheaper to buy soap in chunks instead of bars. Just chip off what you need."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

Two scottish gentleman debating over having Welsh rabbit

Doris was determined to save money on cat parlour fees!

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

"That's too big a pill for me to swallow, Harold!"

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

'Very nice, but I was hoping they'd be a little bit more obscene.'

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

Pandora's box.

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

'Gentlemen, it's time we tightened our belts.'

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

How to do without

How to save on your heating bill...

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"