Frugality Aficionados Gifts

Phil would try anything to avoid paying hefty airport parking fees.

'Careful Artie, hidden fees.'

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

'Remember, Henderson - A penny saved is a departmental oversight.'

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

"That's too big a pill for me to swallow, Harold!"

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

Pandora's box.

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

'Gentlemen, it's time we tightened our belts.'

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

How to do without

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

How to save on your heating bill...

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

'Generally, cost-cutting is a good thing. Specifically, too much of a good thing.'