Frugality Enthusiasts Gifts

"Why do we have to buy a headstone? Couldn't we just engrave something on the back of that one?"

"Organic food IS quite expensive... Would anyone like another pea?"

After Frugal: marked by difficulty parting with money. The strong inward force experienced by a unit of currency clasped in the hand of a rotating Scotsman.

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

"That's too big a pill for me to swallow, Harold!"

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

Pandora's box.

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

How to save on your heating bill...

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

How to do without

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

'Generally, cost-cutting is a good thing. Specifically, too much of a good thing.'

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

'We've all had to cut costs a smidge.'

"I wanted to give Christmas bonuses but that would violate the separation of church and business."

'Remember, Henderson - A penny saved is a departmental oversight.'