Frugality Enthusiasts Gifts

"Why do we have to buy a headstone? Couldn't we just engrave something on the back of that one?"

You're really the Ghost of Christmas Past? In the flesh, so to speak. Bit early this year. Thrilling! Pardon? Since I was a little boy, I've dreamed of being considered frugal enough to get a visit from you. Will you tour me through my cheapest moments?! Tough case, this one.

"Organic food IS quite expensive... Would anyone like another pea?"

After Frugal: marked by difficulty parting with money. The strong inward force experienced by a unit of currency clasped in the hand of a rotating Scotsman.

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

'He left me McDonald's coupon's for a tip.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

"That's too big a pill for me to swallow, Harold!"

Pandora's box.

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

'Gentlemen, it's time we tightened our belts.'

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

How to do without

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

How to save on your heating bill...

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

'Generally, cost-cutting is a good thing. Specifically, too much of a good thing.'