Frugality Aficionado Gifts

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

Economy clothing shop with barrels in the window

Thrift: Sew your mouth shut before going to a restaurant.

Never pay for a drink again with all new Poaching Straw.

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

"What do you mean 'upgrade' the server? The old one works just fine."

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"That's too big a pill for me to swallow, Harold!"

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

Pandora's box.

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

How to do without

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

'Well, you're bankrupt, but look on the bright side -- it only cost you eight dollars per transaction!'

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

'Generally, cost-cutting is a good thing. Specifically, too much of a good thing.'

'We've all had to cut costs a smidge.'

Today, it's chic to be cheap.

"I wanted to give Christmas bonuses but that would violate the separation of church and business."

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."