Frugality Enthusiast Gifts

'Gentlemen, it's time we tightened our belts.'

'Forget retirement, will I have enough to keep gas in my car?'

"My poor tia Carmen needs a lot of stuff for Christmas."

'You've won the budget-saving prize of £50. You suggested cutting the prize to £25.'

Your Dinner is in the Oven/Your Dinner is in the Food Bank

"How many times are you going to try to fix that charger cable with duct tape? It's time to just buy a new one."

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

"Can you go to the store and get some eggs for me?"

"Bargain bin."

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

'No, I'm not impressed by your massive CD collection, they're all internet service provider freebies'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

Diner: 'Is the customer still 'always right' if he orders hot water and ketchup to make tomato soup?'

How to do without

Costermonger on foot acuses costermonger with a cart of 'fashionable display' for keeping a 'carriage'

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

Can I join Tightwads United? If you can pass the test. In a dumpster behind a restaurant, you find a quarter tuna sandwich soiled with coffee grinds and stuck with tape. Gross. Am I in? Denied.

"I wanted to give Christmas bonuses but that would violate the separation of church and business."

"Suddenly, around January 15th, people become very tight fisted."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"I can't believe I'm paying $5,000 a month for you to stream Intro to Psychology when I get all of TV for $15.99."

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."