Frugal Living Lover Gifts

"The inflation isn't that bad. The kids pick berries, my wife picks grass and leaves, and once a month we can afford a loaf of bread."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

"It's made from all our old leftovers. I call it 'Rescue Casserole.'"

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

'He left me McDonald's coupon's for a tip.'

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

'Gentlemen, it's time we tightened our belts.'

'I could only afford a Yo.'

"C'mere, space heater."

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

How to save on your heating bill...

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

How to do without

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

'We've all had to cut costs a smidge.'

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

"I wanted to give Christmas bonuses but that would violate the separation of church and business."

'Right now I'd say our biggest asset is our credit card debt.'

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

Dad she's fallen into the cereal again!

"Hello Bob, I haven't seen you since you had a water meter fitted!"

"Yes, two-for-one's a great deal, but we don't need any freshly cut Christmas trees in June!"

'Why can't you guys be more like the hot water heater, who may pay for itself in two years.'