Budget-friendly Enthusiasts Gifts

"We have a number of service options, the cheapest 'bronze', involves giving you lousy advice."

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

A Quiet Rebuke.

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

Online Shopping.

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

DIY marriage counseling.

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

The spend is high

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

'Of course, that bid's just an estimate.'

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

"There is such a thing as a free lunch-it just tastes bad."

Bargains

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

"But if we didn't measure things we wouldn't know how good we were at measuring the things that we're measuring!"

'You realize, of course, there's nothing wrong with me. . . I'm only here 'cause of your 50%-off-first-visit coupon and I am not a serial bargain shopaholic.'

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

Tony Blair - EU budget.

I brake for all 50 off Sales.

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

sale

Final clearance sale.

Looking for a way to have their cake and eat it too.

'Haven't they ever heard of walls around here?'

"If only there was a thesaurus for numbers."

Garage Sales Anonymous

Everyone waited as Allen figured out how much the meal had cost per bite.

'Speculation, speculation, speculation!'