Budget-savvy Buffs Gifts

'Of course, that bid's just an estimate.'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

DIY marriage counseling.

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

Overdraft limit.

The spend is high

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

Security/Savings

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

"But if we didn't measure things we wouldn't know how good we were at measuring the things that we're measuring!"

"Sergio, we don't have to spend so much money on health insurance."

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

Tony Blair - EU budget.

Looking for a way to have their cake and eat it too.

"If only there was a thesaurus for numbers."

'Haven't they ever heard of walls around here?'

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

Everyone waited as Allen figured out how much the meal had cost per bite.

'Buy you new equipment? Are you kidding? Our budget is already so tight that we have a kazooist because we can't afford an organ.'

'Speculation, speculation, speculation!'

Economic Experts

US Government: shut down until further notice.

'Reducing the nation's debt helps everyone, rich & poor!'

Government Shutdown

Oval Office Reflection

"A game you can play alone or in a group, that tests your agility and is dirt cheap?!" "Marbles!"