Budget Buffs Gifts

Economic Experts

"Sum yourself up in three words"

Overdraft limit.

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

Security/Savings

"It upsets me when they use words like 'disembowel' in our budget meetings."

What's wrong with the computer you've got?"

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

"I just..."

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

"What comes after zillion?"

Occupy Budget Balancing

"The good news is that profits are up 76%. . . The BAD news is that costs are up 83%."

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

"So, the bills still aren't paid? You've never been good at money management."

Your tax $ at WAR.

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

Small Businesses Go Under.

'We've gone over your budget very carefully, Mr Thorne. Unfortunately the network does not sell 7-second spots.'

"The Treasury is fairly sure that the figures in the budget are correct, they might just not be in the right order!"

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

"There's so much money around now we've started using it as toilet paper."

Squeezing a tight budget...

'Psst. It's okay in here, but don't go around calling $690 billion 'chump change.''

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

The Department Chairs react to the budget cuts.

Financial Execution