Budget Savvy Folks Gifts

This one's got power brakes, power steering, power windows and power payments!

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'Bearing in mind I'm a man of few words - how much?'

Overdraft limit.

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

Security/Savings

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

"Wow, they want $10,000!"

Family Budgets

Sam's Nation Building

"Sergio, we don't have to spend so much money on health insurance."

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

Economic Experts

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

"Natasha cuts diagnosis costs."

Senior Brand Name Medicine Cabinet

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

'I'd like to stay and watch. It usually cuts the bill by 30%.'

"Our goal is to make prices so low that even our employees could shop here."

'This is what telemedicine looks like for a small practice like ours.'

Seminar Today: Living an Active Retirement Lifestyle. I can't afford to retire. For the last forty years I've been blowing all my money on food, clothing and shelter.

'The armed forces are having to respond to new kinds of threat.'

"Get used to it...I think we're going to be eating them for a while yet..."

"We have our round cuts and these are our budget cuts."

Good vision? Save Money - Tiny Type Books.

'I don't care if this security software was a bargain; it shouldn't reply with 'close enough' when I enter the wrong password.'