Bargain Connoisseur Gifts

'Look, mom...a bargain!'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

A Quiet Rebuke.

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

'That'll be four thousand and eighty pounds please'

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

Customer Convention

DIY marriage counseling.

Fred and Nancy believed that their mutual love of a good sale would be enough to overcome 'the species issue'... but they were wrong.

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

Half-Price Haircut and Half-Cut Price Hair.

Online Shopping.

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

'Please, Dad? Can we? Can we? Pleeeease?'

"Enough with the garage sales, Harold."

The spend is high

"'Thou shalt give good discounts'? That's a commandment?"

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

"Once again, nobody's happy A true whine-whine situation."

How much would you take off for cash?

'How do I qualify for the 'Preferred Customer Discount' you're advertising?' 'Do you have a pulse?'

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

'Water into wine is certainly impressive. D'you do water into petrol?'

"There is such a thing as a free lunch-it just tastes bad."