Bargain Connoisseur Pillows

'Look, mom...a bargain!'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

A Quiet Rebuke.

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

'That'll be four thousand and eighty pounds please'

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

Customer Convention

DIY marriage counseling.

Half-Price Haircut and Half-Cut Price Hair.

Fred and Nancy believed that their mutual love of a good sale would be enough to overcome 'the species issue'... but they were wrong.

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

Online Shopping.

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

The spend is high

"Enough with the garage sales, Harold."

'Please, Dad? Can we? Can we? Pleeeease?'

"'Thou shalt give good discounts'? That's a commandment?"

"Once again, nobody's happy A true whine-whine situation."

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

How much would you take off for cash?

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

'How do I qualify for the 'Preferred Customer Discount' you're advertising?' 'Do you have a pulse?'

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

'Water into wine is certainly impressive. D'you do water into petrol?'

"There is such a thing as a free lunch-it just tastes bad."

'If you promise to never try to open the locked attic door, the owner will take $20,00 off!'