Budget Connoisseur Pillows

'How did I fill all this in for only $75.00? Easy, I only collect corked wines.'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

DIY marriage counseling.

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

The spend is high

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

'I know the marketing budget is stretched...but I still think we need professional models!'

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

How to do without

"But if we didn't measure things we wouldn't know how good we were at measuring the things that we're measuring!"

Tony Blair - EU budget.

'Haven't they ever heard of walls around here?'

'Look, mom...a bargain!'

"If only there was a thesaurus for numbers."

Looking for a way to have their cake and eat it too.

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

Affordable housing

Low income vampires.

Everyone waited as Allen figured out how much the meal had cost per bite.

'Speculation, speculation, speculation!'

US Government: shut down until further notice.

"I don't know - none of these cookies offer an engaging brand narrative."

Pay Hospital Bill Here

'Reducing the nation's debt helps everyone, rich & poor!'

"What kind of moviemaking do we want to reinforce?"

Oval Office Reflection