Budget-conscious Buddy Pillows

'I'm on the inflation diet. Every week I spend the same amount of money and come home with less food!'

Man astounded by his invoice

"Let's talk about how we're not all going to buy anything this fall."

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"Our water bill is sky high. You've got to start taking shorter showers."

'We only want small portions. I'm counting my calories and he's counting his pennies.'

"He's talking about you, you know."

'Please tell me it's a local call...'

"Please tell me it's a local call..."

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"I just..."

DIY marriage counseling.

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

The spend is high

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

'I like the jib of their cuts.'

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

"But if we didn't measure things we wouldn't know how good we were at measuring the things that we're measuring!"

"Sergio, we don't have to spend so much money on health insurance."

'Haven't they ever heard of walls around here?'

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

Tony Blair - EU budget.

Looking for a way to have their cake and eat it too.

"If only there was a thesaurus for numbers."