Budget Savvy Sweetheart Pillows

'I'm not trying to be romantic. I've had my electricity cut off.'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'Would you merge your mutual fund with mine?'

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"Wow, they want $10,000!"

When they said that current economic problems may need to a need for more self-reliance I think they were talking about DIY...

"Why doesn't the budget ax ever fall in the produce department?"

'All I said was,two could live as cheaply as one until you gave up dieting.'

Affordable housing

"Sergio, we don't have to spend so much money on health insurance."

Low income vampires.

"I checked out how much it would be for hockey, and guess what? The kids are playing pickleball this year!"

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

'I'd like to stay and watch. It usually cuts the bill by 30%.'

Valentine's day skinflint.

Back to school expenses.

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

"Our goal is to make prices so low that even our employees could shop here."

'At these prices I won't be able to say much!'

'I've asked Santa for a tank of unleaded petrol.'

The cost of Halloween.

"Please tell me it's a local call..."

'We only want small portions. I'm counting my calories and he's counting his pennies.'

"Our water bill is sky high. You've got to start taking shorter showers."

'Of course, for the compact budget we offer the Shelterette Programme.'

"Let's talk about how we're not all going to buy anything this fall."

'Bring me a nice bottle of something that'll impress the lady, for under a fiver.'

"Nope, still can't afford to buy it."

Your last chance to afford petrol.

"This is of course a totally fake fur coat and ten thousand dollars is a lot of money, but quality and political correctness cost!"