Budget Savvy Sweetheart Gifts

'I'm not trying to be romantic. I've had my electricity cut off.'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'Would you merge your mutual fund with mine?'

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"I'd like an engagement ring that proclaims my uncompromising love - for under fifty bucks."

"Why doesn't the budget ax ever fall in the produce department?"

Affordable housing

'All I said was,two could live as cheaply as one until you gave up dieting.'

"Sergio, we don't have to spend so much money on health insurance."

"Wow, they want $10,000!"

Low income vampires.

When they said that current economic problems may need to a need for more self-reliance I think they were talking about DIY...

"I checked out how much it would be for hockey, and guess what? The kids are playing pickleball this year!"

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

Valentine's day skinflint.

Back to school expenses.

'At these prices I won't be able to say much!'

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

"Our goal is to make prices so low that even our employees could shop here."

'I'd like to stay and watch. It usually cuts the bill by 30%.'

The cost of Halloween.

It's been hard to find silver linings in this situation but I was able to buy this boat when my daughter had to switch from a huge to a tiny wedding.

"Please tell me it's a local call..."

'I've asked Santa for a tank of unleaded petrol.'

'We only want small portions. I'm counting my calories and he's counting his pennies.'

"Our water bill is sky high. You've got to start taking shorter showers."

One upside-down tomato planter. I can't wait for juicy, free tomatoes. It's $23.37 with tax. Not bad for homegrown tomahtas. Plus $8 for potting soil, $15 for the hanger, $11 for organic fertilizer, $16 � Hey! � Where are you going? To the "Pick and Save" market.

"Let's talk about how we're not all going to buy anything this fall."

'Bring me a nice bottle of something that'll impress the lady, for under a fiver.'

'Of course, for the compact budget we offer the Shelterette Programme.'

"Nope, still can't afford to buy it."

This one's got power brakes, power steering, power windows and power payments!