Budget Savvy Fashionista Gifts

'Sure, I know diamonds are a girl's best friend. But couldn't cubic zirconia be a really acquaintance?'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

'It makes conferences so much cheaper, no travel costs and we only need to buy our own drinks!'

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

The Walk of Shame

'I received your list of the type of company car you'd like to receive. The Maserati, Ferrari, Porche and Viper isn't possible, but there is a 1978 Pinto with your name written all over it.'

'It's just full of dirty laundry but it makes me feel much more hip.'

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

Electricity Bills

"We've been milked all day at the office. Now we girls deserve a little R&R."

"For Pete's sake, Helen, will you break down and buy a hair dryer!"

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

Bad times for retirees.

"The valuation of my business includes its goodwill."

Affordable housing

When they said that current economic problems may need to a need for more self-reliance I think they were talking about DIY...

Low income vampires.

'I knew it was going to cost me when I noticed the mahogany tongue depressor'

Where Mom used to take you.

Stay at home

Budget cure

School Supplies and Small Loans.

Thrift: bathe fully dressed and wash your clothes at the same time

Budget Recliner

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

"I agree, it fits perfectly...but not my budget!"

'I got mine at a garage sale for only 99 cents.'

'Do you have to bring your take-home pay home with you?'

"It's even worse than I thought!"

". . .and the money we save on glassware, we pass on to you."

Why buy one in December when you can have them all for free in January?