Budget-conscious Stylist Gifts

"I told you that a £50 facelift was a bad idea!"

"We only got six days of funding."

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

The Walk of Shame

'It's just full of dirty laundry but it makes me feel much more hip.'

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

"We've been milked all day at the office. Now we girls deserve a little R&R."

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

"The valuation of my business includes its goodwill."

Affordable housing

Low income vampires.

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

Budget cure

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

Stay at home

Where Mom used to take you.

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

"I agree, it fits perfectly...but not my budget!"

'I got mine at a garage sale for only 99 cents.'

"Our goal is to make prices so low that even our employees could shop here."

"Another bottle? Do you think we can afford to open another can of tuna?"

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

I'd love to wallpaper our bedroom, but it's too expensive. Not necessarily. Teddy wallpapered his entire room. What?! D�cor. For the cost of a few dozen movie magazines. And a fortune in scotch tape. Rolling Stone.

'At these prices I won't be able to say much!'

One upside-down tomato planter. I can't wait for juicy, free tomatoes. It's $23.37 with tax. Not bad for homegrown tomahtas. Plus $8 for potting soil, $15 for the hanger, $11 for organic fertilizer, $16 � Hey! � Where are you going? To the "Pick and Save" market.

'Was I wrong in thinking that diamonds are a girl's best friend?'

"Can't afford the headset so I'm wearing my eyeglasses case."

Good vision? Save Money - Tiny Type Books.

'I'm looking for some pre-owned pants. Long as they fit, I don't much care whose they were.'

"This is of course a totally fake fur coat and ten thousand dollars is a lot of money, but quality and political correctness cost!"

Actually, not overspending on the latest fashion is the new black.

"Your meat is too expensive. Aren't you passing your 'free range' savings onto the customer?"

'I'm on a fixed income, so these free offers are most welcome.'

"A MOHAWK is what I get for asking for an affordable hair cut?!"

Woman looking at "Get Well" cards which have been divided into two sections: "Insured" and "Uninsured".