Budget Cut Gags Gifts

"There have been a few cutbacks in the anesthesiology department."

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

"Sorry, new style pain killer. It's the cut-backs I'm afraid."

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

Budget Cuts

'The popularity polls love what you've done with the budget deficit....moving the decimal one point to the left.'

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

"How can we cut costs on Mars vehicles?"

"I can't afford therapy. The inner child support payments alone are killing me."

'Due to budget cuts, the Finance Department says after you finish the resection can you fix the tap?'

"I understand Senator Quigley was really counting on that raise."

'Cuts in Roman times.'

"It won't hurt a bit. Dr. Taxmore is doing a routine walletectomy."

"Budget cuts...turns out you were the only one around here who ever did anything."

Children are pulled in cart privided by the school contingency fuel fund.

'Sorry Santa we're over budget for 'meeting the dreams of young children' and we won't have funds for 'screams of delight' until 2016 at the earliest.'

'Tell them that, by funding our project, they agree the universe must be expanding, and that, as it expands, so must our budget!'

'Great news! Our credit card limit has been raised enough for us to pay off our bankruptcy lawyer!'

"Cuts, cuts! I said we need more cuts!"

'Wait, I have a coupon for $500,000 off that hammer.'

'I did the math -- we can't AFFORD to attend the economic summit.'

All the Kings Horses and All the Kings Men

Just do your job, and stop worring about low bidders

'The poor economy is hitting everywhere, Have you noticed they cut back on pockets and halos.'

"We could save money by turning the TV off every time they mention Boris."

How About Wedgies?

More NASA Budget Cuts. . .

'I came home with $44.75, just enough to pay for dinner out.'

'Don't spend £4.00 to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for £1.50!'

'...The bad news is that the crusade had some cost overruns....'