Budget Juggler Gifts

"We're to use our imaginary budget to pretend to recruit more nonexistent nurses."

"Yes, that's our bathroom. We're a startup, so plumbing and running water is a luxury."

'You have to spend money to make money.'

The Cost of Childhood

Principal with 'budget cuts' in-tray and 'creative solutions' out-tray.

'On my salary, microeconomics is all I can afford.'

"Given my salary, it's appropriate that I teach microeconomics."

'If the universe and everything in it is expanding, how come our budget gets shrunk all the time?'

There is not much left after deductions and taxes, is there, Rodney?

Harry leaves the Bank Manager's office having been told he's badly overdrawn.

"This project was a mismanaged rush job and woefully underfunded, but we did finish it on time and under budget."

'The hospital needs to cut its drug budget...Mrs Miggins will be seeing what she can do for the Oncology department with hot twigs and frogspawn...'

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

'Yeah, it's empty. After shelling out $12 for the bag, I didn't have anything left for the wine.'

'We need to discuss your disposable income.'

How You Can Survive on $1400

"I should warn you, dear. I won't be able to meet my quarterly projection."

Bank teller says: 'Wouldn't it be great if all this money was real?'

Statue of Liberty tries to sew up the American purse.

Acrobatics.

'Thanks -- now I need to withdraw the money again to buy some bread.'

Bedside manner could determine quality points.

"The government has given us money for a few little extras, what shall we use it for, heating or lighting?"

Bankrupt Initiatives.

"Don't be alarmed, dear. This is just my disposable income."

"...Instead of raw, how would you like your egg tepid?"

"Sometimes I get the crazy feeling that he blames us for the budget overrun."

'We need more cuts by attrition. Cancel the CPR workshop.'

"Everything's gone up."

Shape Up in the New Year. It's ironic, I let my gym membership lapse because I needed to tighten my belt.

Mort, you owe $856 on your tab. What are you talking about?! I pay my tab every month! Yes, but you've never paid the finance charge. It was clearly written on the back of the tab receipt that there's a 29.9% finance charge. I don't have that kind of money! I refuse to pay it! You can pay your finance charge in installments, but I'll have to add a finance charge. I'm calling congress!

Financial Advisor. Will you meet expenses this month? Unless I find a really good hiding place.

I can't pay you back. When I said I have a "second income," I was talking about how long my paycheck lasts.

Hey, that's not a giant check - That's a giant phone bill!