Economic Jester Gifts

"Before interest rates get any higher, maybe we should start thinking about investing in a second elephant."

Supermarket - 'Buy Two Get A Farmer Free'

A dart board for the Federal Reserve's planning policy?

In case of stock market crash break glass.

'Your excessive saving is thwarting the recovery! Start spending so can rap your knuckles for unsustainable profligacy!'

Sign reads: Couldn't get any compensation for damages within the last 3 weeks. Please hit me.

I can explain what happened to your investment with this chart.

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

The worst is over...the worst is yet to come.

'Sales went from bad to worst, but we think it will be bad again.'

Man ironing out a line graph.

' I would like to deposit my pay check, but I don't want you to laugh.'

'All right! -- The World Bank raised our credit card limit to $150 trillion!'

'Since you do the work of three people, we're firing you to create more jobs in this economy.'

'That's my first bailout.'

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

'Lady, after what happened to my 401K, I'd believe just about anything.'

"Your complete name is Paul Anton Norman Ichabot Cucumber?? P-A-N-I-C???! I'm sorry, you can't work as a stock market analyst any longer!"

'And this is where we attempt to forecast the true size of the spending cuts!'

'Slaug-ter house? I wonder what that is. C'mon, I'll race you!'

"This month, Benbroke, the cost of your health care and other benefits exceeds your salary, so you owe us."

Can't afford costly farm equipment? Try a costly farm loan.

"I bought a stock on my broker's conviction buy list - and I got convicted."

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

'I know it's a waste but it's cheaper than petrol.'

"All this good health may just be a bubble."

Thames water debts

Economic Think Tank. Some of my data says the economy is getting better and some says it's getting worse! So just report that the economy is humming along but you're not sure what tune it's playing.

Med. Soc Sec. Can we agree on anything to reduce the deficit other than a bake sale?

"Great first quarter guys but I'm a little concerned about the future."

Wind-Up Merchant.

"A shoulder to lean on? I'd prefer a hand to take up a loan from..."

"A local retail survey shows holiday sales were flat...but the consumer cash meter hit an all-time high...while the holiday confidence index took a three-point dip."

'You know, you're a real piece of work, Al.'

'Sir, both the sweets manufacturer and the brewery stocks are free of fat, sugar and alcohol and absolutely right for diabetics.'