Economy Jester Gifts

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

"We, too, need your money to stem our planet's recession. Take us to your leaders!"

'I bet he gets a better rate of interest than me!'

Closed due to pangs of conscience

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

I won't have to put up with this aggravation anyimore...I was fired!

'Well, Sylvester, I think we'll show a profit this quarter now that we've eliminated our overloaded payroll.'

Lockey Investment Company: 'Sometimes exceeding your expectations in a sober, downturn, 21st century lower-expectations way.'

'Boy, are the markets getting sensitive, anymore.'

'Former wall street financial whiz will work for obscene salary, bonus,perks...'

'Oh, Gosh, not another born-again mortgage lender!'

"Your coupon is great, but we'll soon be switching over to this as our new crapto currency."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"And where have you previously moused?"

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

Why markets crash.

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

"That new drug causes flatulence."

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

"Are you sure you haven't overvalued the worth of your business?"

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

'Wait a minute....!

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."