Economic Joker Gifts

"I've had to change my business name: Potential clients were put off by 'Bear Market'..."

'So how have the cuts affected you?'

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

'The market shifted on me.'

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

Happy New Year...we feel a little overtime won't hurt you.

"Oh, him? He's the guy who changes the interest rate when it's set by the fed."

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

'I bet he gets a better rate of interest than me!'

'Yes, that's our bathroom. We're a startup, so plumbing and running water is a luxury.'

'My new investment counselor keeps referring to my stock portfolio as 'a financial aneurism waiting to happen'.'

"We've got a new financial advisor. I asked him how to cut down on out of pocket expenses and he said to stop wearing clothes with pockets."

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'The shareholders are in an uproar; they demand change. Bob, switch seats with Gerald.'

In case of stock market crash break glass.

'Boy, are the markets getting sensitive, anymore.'

'Well, Sylvester, I think we'll show a profit this quarter now that we've eliminated our overloaded payroll.'

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

Med. Soc Sec. Can we agree on anything to reduce the deficit other than a bake sale?

Economic Think Tank. Some of my data says the economy is getting better and some says it's getting worse! So just report that the economy is humming along but you're not sure what tune it's playing.

Man ironing out a line graph.

"Tell me more about Armageddon. I think it may have potential as an exchange-traded fund."

'Slaug-ter house? I wonder what that is. C'mon, I'll race you!'

Garage Sale: Assorted shares of stocks.

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

"Tag! Your salary's frozen."

'There's been no confirmation, but the possible merger of two giants has sent stock prices soaring.'