Economic Joker Gifts

"I've had to change my business name: Potential clients were put off by 'Bear Market'..."

'So how have the cuts affected you?'

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

'The market shifted on me.'

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

Happy New Year...we feel a little overtime won't hurt you.

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

"Oh, him? He's the guy who changes the interest rate when it's set by the fed."

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

'Yes, that's our bathroom. We're a startup, so plumbing and running water is a luxury.'

'I bet he gets a better rate of interest than me!'

'My new investment counselor keeps referring to my stock portfolio as 'a financial aneurism waiting to happen'.'

"We've got a new financial advisor. I asked him how to cut down on out of pocket expenses and he said to stop wearing clothes with pockets."

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'The shareholders are in an uproar; they demand change. Bob, switch seats with Gerald.'

In case of stock market crash break glass.

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

'Boy, are the markets getting sensitive, anymore.'

"Tell me more about Armageddon. I think it may have potential as an exchange-traded fund."

'Well, Sylvester, I think we'll show a profit this quarter now that we've eliminated our overloaded payroll.'

Garage Sale: Assorted shares of stocks.

Man ironing out a line graph.

'Slaug-ter house? I wonder what that is. C'mon, I'll race you!'

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

"Tag! Your salary's frozen."

'There's been no confirmation, but the possible merger of two giants has sent stock prices soaring.'

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

Software for the small businessman