Economics Joker Gifts

'Instead of a medal, could you just give me a tax cut?'

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

Happy New Year...we feel a little overtime won't hurt you.

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

"Oh, him? He's the guy who changes the interest rate when it's set by the fed."

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

'Yes, that's our bathroom. We're a startup, so plumbing and running water is a luxury.'

'I bet he gets a better rate of interest than me!'

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'

'My new investment counselor keeps referring to my stock portfolio as 'a financial aneurism waiting to happen'.'

"We've got a new financial advisor. I asked him how to cut down on out of pocket expenses and he said to stop wearing clothes with pockets."

In case of stock market crash break glass.

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'The shareholders are in an uproar; they demand change. Bob, switch seats with Gerald.'

World Economic: Crisis/Crash/Collapse

Man ironing out a line graph.

'Boy, are the markets getting sensitive, anymore.'

Garage Sale: Assorted shares of stocks.

'Slaug-ter house? I wonder what that is. C'mon, I'll race you!'

'The test results are in. We've ruled out anything cheap.'

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

"Tell me more about Armageddon. I think it may have potential as an exchange-traded fund."

'Well, Sylvester, I think we'll show a profit this quarter now that we've eliminated our overloaded payroll.'

Med. Soc Sec. Can we agree on anything to reduce the deficit other than a bake sale?

Economic Think Tank. Some of my data says the economy is getting better and some says it's getting worse! So just report that the economy is humming along but you're not sure what tune it's playing.

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

'There's been no confirmation, but the possible merger of two giants has sent stock prices soaring.'

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'