Joker Of Finances Gifts

"I'd also like to take this opportunity to declare personal bankruptcy."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

Why markets crash.

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

"Our Big Hairy Audacious Goal is balding."

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

'All in favor of just laughing it off, say ha, ha, ha.'

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

'Wait a minute....!

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'Don't worry, Skeeter, the Big Guy is really gonna take to you.'

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

"Are you sure you haven't overvalued the worth of your business?"

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

'First of all I'm sorry. Secondly I'd like to clarify what I meant by 'never apologize, never explain'.'

"You gave us quite a scare there Mr. Edwards! We thought we lost your credit card information."

'Let me present today's speaker.'

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

"Oh, him? He's the guy who changes the interest rate when it's set by the fed."

"Oops! Wrong plug."

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

"Of course we're not in a recession. No one has even jumped out of a window."

'My new investment counselor keeps referring to my stock portfolio as 'a financial aneurism waiting to happen'.'

'Stock Market re-entry now safe. . . City analysts say.'