Joker Of Finances Pillows

"I'd also like to take this opportunity to declare personal bankruptcy."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

Why markets crash.

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"Our Big Hairy Audacious Goal is balding."

'All in favor of just laughing it off, say ha, ha, ha.'

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

'Wait a minute....!

'Don't worry, Skeeter, the Big Guy is really gonna take to you.'

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

"You gave us quite a scare there Mr. Edwards! We thought we lost your credit card information."

'First of all I'm sorry. Secondly I'd like to clarify what I meant by 'never apologize, never explain'.'

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

'Let me present today's speaker.'

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

"Oh, him? He's the guy who changes the interest rate when it's set by the fed."

"Oops! Wrong plug."

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

'The salary isn't much, but the expense account to entertain the boss, ohh-la-la!'

"We've got a new financial advisor. I asked him how to cut down on out of pocket expenses and he said to stop wearing clothes with pockets."

"Of course we're not in a recession. No one has even jumped out of a window."