Finance Joker Pillows

Bank - For The Convenience Of Customers This Branch Has Been Moved To Tierra Del Fuego Where It Will Open On Alternative Tuesday Afternoons

"Oh that, that's our dealing room."

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'There lies a stockbroker and a trustworthy human being? I didn't know you could bury two people in the same grave.'

'Hello! Have you ever been incorrectly sold PPI?'

Ed becomes fully vested in his company's retirement plan.

"Run for your lives! It's one of those sovereign wealth funds."

Luck Accounted For

'In addition to charity and misc you have a down the drain deduction?'

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

'When I said we need some security, I meant more than a boy scout salute.'

My Visa was everywhere

'Would you prefer your paycheck be sent directly to you oil dealer, your mortgage holder or health insurance provider?'

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Why markets crash.

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'Wait a minute....!

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

"You gave us quite a scare there Mr. Edwards! We thought we lost your credit card information."

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

Happy New Year...we feel a little overtime won't hurt you.

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

"Oh, him? He's the guy who changes the interest rate when it's set by the fed."

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

'Yes, that's our bathroom. We're a startup, so plumbing and running water is a luxury.'

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."