Economic Jokers Gifts

"I understand that you cannot support the whole economy, minister. I would be perfectly happy for you to support me!"

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

"Good to see they're trying to keep the high street vibe."

Trickledown economics

Office of economic forecasting.

"Let's vote. All those in favour of flying to Switzerland, withdrawing our secret bank account and splitting?"

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

'We buy and sell them.'

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

In case of stock market crash break glass.

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

Economic Think Tank. Some of my data says the economy is getting better and some says it's getting worse! So just report that the economy is humming along but you're not sure what tune it's playing.

Med. Soc Sec. Can we agree on anything to reduce the deficit other than a bake sale?

'Slaug-ter house? I wonder what that is. C'mon, I'll race you!'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

Man ironing out a line graph.

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

"That man's a legend in this office. He has 100% accuracy in predicting the past."

Government Handouts.

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

"Tag! Your salary's frozen."

'The only way you can become a millionaire by investing in savings accounts, is to invest millions in savings accounts.'

Thanks to his stocks, Bob now lives in the middle of a great green garden outside the crowded city.

'Sorry about the mess -- I've been slashing the Federal budget.'