Economy Jokesters Gifts

"They call the dollar stable and you know what's in the stable."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

"Let's vote. All those in favour of flying to Switzerland, withdrawing our secret bank account and splitting?"

It's the same ingredients and aftertaste as stimulus 1..."

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

'My investment club had morphed into a support group.'

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

'You call it a beer belly, I prefer to think of it as a lump sum settlement of liquid assets.'

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

"The most important feature of economic predictions is trying not to laugh while making them."

"Tag! Your salary's frozen."

"I decided to invest in precious metals - I bought a new car."

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

"...And when the world economy collapses, we all stand up and take over! Agreed?"

'I just asked to see the annual figures...'

"I'm afraid we don't offer student loans to elementary school pupils."

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

'This is Harold. Harold is part of our company's jobless recovery.'

Some cultures use fish as money. 'Got change for a halibut?' 'Sure! Minnows OK?

'If we wait here long enough will we see the hedge funds fly south for the winter?'

'It's from my stockbroker - he'd like to join us.'

"Pearson is known for his austere monetary views."

"No need to call me 'boss' and no need to go to work anymore, Johnson. Didn't you read the memo?"

'Interest rates are down, so we'll only pull one more.'

'In this economy, money is the lure.'